Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
