I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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