Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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