Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack