Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
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I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.