New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos