I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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