chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
