His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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