Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize