i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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