this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
