Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
