who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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