stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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