She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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