can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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