i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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