I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You were trust falling into bushes
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice