dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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