She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she peed on how many people?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
