And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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