I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sponge bath it is.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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