I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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