I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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