OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
