everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
