Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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