I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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