he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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