I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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