they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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