I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
