How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Found your dick twin last night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
