have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
