I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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