Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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