I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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