as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
