dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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