She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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