Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
