As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
