worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You can't special order awesome
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
