I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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