I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
