he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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