I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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