Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Text me some of your sweat
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