Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
