is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize