I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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