Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the condom got lost in my hair
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
