white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
