I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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