the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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