worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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