is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
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Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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