last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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