glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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