You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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