We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
