To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
