i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
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We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
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just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS