just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
