Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
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At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.