can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
