Moan for me like Helen Keller
Buhtt sex?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
