They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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